This past weekend, I threw a party for our son’s fourth birthday. It is absolutely bananas to me that I have been a parent for four years, and that the little infant I grew inside my body is now running around, an actual child.
We had friends from his preschool over for the party. We’re still at that age where the parents attend the parties with their child, so I wanted to plan a party that was appealing to kids and adults. Thank you, Pinterest, for inspiring so many fun ideas for our bug-themed party.
I loved this DIY from Oriental Trading Co; switched it up a little and had bugs “crawling” out of the frame, circling around the “Happy Birthday” sign. Yes, I did hot glue those twigs on the brick.
Made this balloon arch from a kit I got at Target. Ridiculously easy to make! I had help from the Balloon Buddy, also purchased at Target.
I froze ice with citrus slices and edible flowers for the punch and lemonade!
I used a cookie cutter to get butterfly-shaped watermelon.
I enlisted the help of my husband to hang a paper chain across the back of our fence.
We had two activities for the kiddos. The first was a scavenger hunt. They each got a little card with items to find. I got a sticker book from the Dollar Tree to mark their cards.
After the scavenger hunt, they planted succulents in compostable planters! If I were to do this again, I think I’d have the kids decorate the planters, even though they’re just temporary. You’d have to use markers made from plant-derived inks in order to keep them truly compost-friendly. On their scavenger hunt, they collected a little shovel, a tiny gnome, and other things in the yard that they could use for their planter.
I made this cake based on this gorgeous one posted on reddit. I tried to do it justice! The frosting was homemade buttercream, and the cake itself was made from a box. It turned out much better than I hoped! The flowers were edible, as well as the gummy worms of course, but the other bugs were plastic. Some of the children took the plastic bugs to keep their gnomes company!
They played outside for a little while after they ate cake, and then our guests left, goody bags in tow. The buckets were from dollar tree, along with the shovels they had already used and then took home. The buckets were filled with a mixture of Dollar Tree flower packs, small toys from Party City, and homemade goodies (bug-shaped crayons and a giant butterfly gummy).
All in all, we had a blast. And were absolutely exhausted after the party was over. It was such a blast to see Milo playing with his friends from school.
Easter is this Sunday! Whether you’re religious, secular, or somewhere in between, like us, these Easter basket stuffers will be sure to put a smile on your kiddo’s face.
Stuff for the Garden
We’re getting flowers on Saturday for the Easter bunny to bring to my son. In addition to potted flowers, we’ve got a watering can and some seeds ($1 each in Bullseye’s Playground at Target).
A Maileg Bunny
My mom saw these little bunnies in a toy shop and had the most adorable idea. My sister and my son will both get one of the bunnies in their Easter basket. My son thinks his Aunt Coco hung the moon, so he’ll be very tickled to see that the Easter bunny brought them matching bunnies!
Bath Stuff
So, my son loves baths and things were on theme. The ladybug is a bubble bar from Lush. These things ROCK, and last for what seems like a million baths. The flower is a $1 soap-on-a-rope and it’s from, along with the Peeps bath bomb, Bullseye’s Playground. Thank you, Target, for hosting our Easter basket. Please sponsor me.
Classic Cadbury Eggs and Russel Stover Hollow Bunny
We’re trying not to go overboard with candy, but we couldn’t avoid the Cadbury eggs and a chocolate bunny.
My son turns 4 later this week. I think it’s pretty normal to go through some soul searching when you become a parent, and that has definitely been the case for my husband and I. We want to do right by the next generation, and that means doing our own unlearning, learning, and healing some trauma.
Since he was born, we haven’t really celebrated Easter. I’ll get into faith on a different day, but religious holidays were just the beginning. Being an Air Force family, we don’t get to be with our loved ones for Thanksgiving. Which then sort of begged the question… are we really going to make ourselves a huge feast in honor of a holiday that is considered a day of mourning amongst Indigenous peoples? And 4th of July. During the era of the 45th president, it felt a little strange to feel patriotic, which then opened our eyes to the conflicting feelings of the 4th of July by people who have been oppressed in this country.
Of course, now that my son is in pre-school, he does sort of celebrate these holidays. At the very least, he partakes in activities themed around these holidays, and he is very aware that people are celebrating and things are happening. And I actually believe in the beauty of tradition and rituals (as long as they’re safe and not harming anyone). I’m still trying to figure out what to do about these holidays, but I’ll take them one at a time. So here we are, at Easter.
I think in a way, my husband and I were waiting to decide about Easter until we had arrived at a belief or a decision. But of course, what we’re trying to get away from is the rigid certainty. Instead of running from Easter, I decided we should embrace it, and find a way to celebrate that feels good to us. The Easter bunny will be paying a visit, indeed.
Resurrection and rebirth are the major themes of Easter. Leaning into these themes, here’s what we’re trying this year: the Easter bunny is going to bring my son some stuff for our garden. In addition to an egg hunt, we’ll spend the day gardening and picking up trash around the lake near our house. Yes, there’s also some candy in his basket, and a few little toys and things for the bath. There’s also a book, What’s God Like by the late Rachel Held Evans. This book is full of beautiful metaphors from multiple religious perspectives. We’re trying to focus on the beauty of growth and rebirth.
This stuff is tricky. But the point is, through trial and error, and being authentic to what we believe, we’re going to figure out what works for us.
Grief is not linear, and it’s never really complete. So, these are some books that I have loved and found helpful with grieving. I’ll include the relationship of the person author to the deceased, as well as the cause of death.
Gilda Radner was the first person ever hired to work on SNL. She is a comedy legend. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1986. When she went into remission in ’88, she started writing her memoir. She died in 1989. This book chronicles her life, career, and illness. This is the only book on this list written from the perspective of the person who was sick.
The title alone makes me teary. Amy Krouse Rosenthal was an amazing writer and human. Like Gilda Radner, she had ovarian cancer. And, as the title implies, this book is written by her husband. Amy had a prolific career as an author, but her final published piece, “You May Want to Marry My Husband” in the Modern Love column of NY Times, went viral. She died just over a week after it was published. This book is a beautiful memoir about their marriage and their journey through her cancer diagnosis and treatment.
Comedy writer and actor Harris Wittels’s life was cut tragically short by a drug overdose. You might remember Harris as the animal control guy “Harris” on Parks and Rec. He also wrote for the show. This book is written by his sister Stephanie. I laughed out loud reading this book, and also cried a lot. Stephanie writes so honestly about her whole range of feelings. I think that’s one of the cool things about having a sibling’s perspective- everyone has rose-tinted glasses after someone dies, but I think a sibling is probably more likely to get real than a spouse.
This book is about the year after Joan Didion’s husband died of a heart attack. A few days before his death, their daughter was hospitalized, and was unconscious when he died, and then she was hospitalized again after learning about his death. Joan Didion was obviously an incredible writer, but I think one of the reasons this book is so famous is because it’s about life after someone’s death, but also about the fear and stress of having someone you love in the hospital, unsure of what’s going to happen to them.
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch is one of the books I re-read often. His big passion in life was following his dreams, and helping others follow theirs, so Dream New Dreams, written by his wife, is a lovely homage. Randy died of complications from pancreatic cancer. Their three children were all young when Randy died. Her memoir talks about her experiences as Randy’s full-time caregiver, as well as life after his death, and what it was like becoming a single parent.
Easter is perhaps the most practical time to dress your family in vintage. A holiday steeped in tradition, church-going, and Easter egg hunt photo shoots. A child of the 90s, my brother and I have painfully long video tapes of the two of us traipsing around my grandparents house, often dressed in silk or hand-smocked jumpers. My grandparents lived in a very wooded neighborhood, creating quite the challenge to keep our clothes clean while partaking in an outdoor egg hunt. Here, I’ve opted for a comfier variety of a vintage. Here’s what I found and fell in love with on Etsy:
This gorgeous jacket reminds me of one I had when I was little. Comes with a matching bonnet. It’s called the “Peter Cottontail” jacket on Etsy; I always assumed Peter Rabbit and Peter Cottontail were on in the same, but there’s a little more to it. The rabbit featured here is Peter Rabbit, of the Beatrix Potter-variety. There is a different Peter Rabbit story written by Thornton Burgess, and that Peter Rabbit changes his name to Peter Cottontail. And I bet that’s more than you cared to learn on the subject!
This 90s dress reminds me of my childhood. What makes this piece stand out is the eyeleted collar. Peep the little bunny near the hem and the flower buttons.
In my dreams of motherhood, I had a little boy nonstop prancing around in outfits like this. Obviously, that is not my reality, so I love to dress him in a 40s outfit like this for the holidays.
My goodness. I’ll admit this is an attraction-repulsion situation. I just can’t stop staring at this outfit. It’s both cute and horrifying. I think it’s the googly eyes for me.
We’ve officially started the process to become foster parents! Like, literally just started. We’ve submitted our background checks and had our first interview with the social worker. After doing some research and talking with the social worker, here are the books I’m reading to prepare for foster care! *I’m sure there will be more than these 5, but you gotta start somewhere!
Our social worker recommended this book, but it’s been on my reading list since my son was born. It’s a great parenting book in general, detailing the neuroscience behind your child’s developing brain, and how best to communicate with and discipline your child based on where they’re at in their development.
This book is written specifically for adoptive and foster parents. This book discusses the range of backgrounds the child might be coming from, and how that will affect their development. Reading this in tandem with “Whole-Brain Child” definitely helped me to begin to wrap my head around the difficulties any child has as their brains and skills are developing, and how to help a child with developmental delays.
This is one of those books that I found sort of unintentionally. I added it to my reading list after someone recommended it as a parenting book (it’s not really). I tend to choose the next book I read at random, or based on whatever is available at the library, and that’s what happened here. The audiobook was available and I was about to drive a couple of hours, so I added it, not really knowing what I was getting into. Kristen dealt with infertility, and she has two children who joined her family through adoption, and she had two children biologically. I listened to this book before being diagnosed with endometriosis, but after we had been TTC for a year and a half. Adopting and fostering have been on my mind since my son was born, but we hadn’t reached out to any agencies yet. Rage begins with a chapter on infertility, and the next chapter is the story of her first adoption. This book is actually very funny, but I cried for my entire drive. What she says about infertility is so spot-on, and the way she talks about the love, joy, and inherent heartache with adoption was beautiful. Her book is also great because she doesn’t sugarcoat parenthood.
By the time I read this book, we had already signed up for an orientation with a local foster care agency. Now, at its core, this book is a fantastic resource for Black foster-parent-hopefuls, especially single women. Nefertiti Austin, as a single woman, wanted to adopt a Black baby boy from foster care, and when she began on her journey, there were very few resources available to her. Few if any adoption books are written by single women or Black women, so she wrote her own book! It gives amazing insight into the fostering-to-adopt, from a practical and emotional standpoint.
This is the only book on this list that I haven’t read yet, but I am so excited to! The social worker recommended this book as well. As someone with PTSD, I know the toll that trauma can take on the body. But I experienced trauma as a full-grown woman, not while I was still developing! This book outlines not only the effects that trauma can have on the brain, mind, and body, but also how to begin the healing process. Very, very excited about this one! If you’ve read it, let me know what you thought in the comments!
If you’re interested in getting any of these books on thriftbooks.com, just click on the hyperlink! If you spend $30, we both get a free book (: and who doesn’t love free books?
I loved nursing, for the most part. I was lucky to be able to nurse my son for nine months. The thing I didn’t love about nursing was the quiet, lonely, middle of the night nursing sessions. I had bad postpartum depression and anxiety, so I had to find a way to distract myself. I know you’re “not supposed” to be staring at your phone at night, and I know someone people are judge-y about being on your phone while nursing (give me a break), but in that postpartum phase, you’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do. I downloaded some eBooks from my local library (overdrive and hoopla are amazing) and put my phone on all of the darkness/nighttime settings available. The books below are the perfect mix of funny and poignant, the best combo for those lonely times.
Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling
Gosh. Mindy Kaling saved my life. When my son was born, my mom came out to visit for a few weeks, and then I went to stay at my parent’s house for six weeks while my husband was in pilot training. When I got back home after those six weeks, I had a very difficult time adjusting. The house felt too quiet, my husband’s training kept him at work for 12 hours a day, and my son had trouble gaining weight. “Why Not Me?” is so funny, and encouraging, and while I did cry when Kaling talked about her mom’s death, her writing only ever made me feel less alone.
Rage Against the Minivan by Kristen Howerton
This book made me laugh out loud, cry a little (she struggled with infertility and tackles some other hard topics), and feel like I made a new friend in the process. Kristen Howerton has four children, two adopted and two biological, very close in age. When she wrote the book, her kids were in middle and high school. If you’re struggling with the little ages and need some hope for the future, the way she describes her relationship with her kids now that they’re older will definitely give you something to look forward.
Let’s Pretend this Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
This is maybe the funniest book I’ve ever read. If you’re not familiar with Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess, you are missing out. Here writing is so honest, so funny, and so relatable. She articulates so many feelings I feel as a human and parent. Her writing is especially helpful if you struggle with mental health; Lawson is very upfront about her own mental health struggles and how she copes. But seriously, you will laugh out lead reading this book. To give you a peek into her world: her father was a taxidermist and she has the strangest childhood stories of animals, dead and alive, that her father brought home for her to play with.
Dear Girls by Ali Wong
Everyone knows Ali Wong is a fantastic comedian. Her book delivers the same biting comedy as her stand-up, but with a sweet maternal twinge. Also like her stand-up, it is straight up foul at times (in the best way; just don’t say I didn’t warn you). It’s a great read for new moms, especially if you’ve got a daughter, because there is real, practical advice about parenting and living your best life (it even says so on the cover).
You Can’t Touch My Hair by Phoebe Robinson
You can’t go wrong with a Phoebe Robinson book- she is hilarious, and you will learn stuff. And if you’re a white parent, then you need some anti-racism training yesterday. There are several books to check out about anti-racism (that’s a whole other post), but “You Can’t Touch My Hair” has some nuggets of wisdom and it has hilarious stories. She is a comedian in a class of her own, and I couldn’t wait to finish this book so I could I start her next one, and then pass them both on to my mom and sisters ASAP.
It doesn’t take much to get stuck in a rut as a human, much less as an artist. These are the books that took me from Slump City to actually making art.
Driving home from work several years ago, I listened to an interview with Jenna Fischer in which she said that the Artist’s Way helped things finally click for her and her artistic journey. The interviewer asked, “You actually finished the artist’s way?” She said it took her three tries to get through the 12 weeks. As soon I got home, I got out my copy of Artist’s Way and started again. I, too, had started and stopped before, but this time I forced myself to see it through to the end. Was it 12 consecutive weeks? Nope. But I wouldn’t beat myself up if I took a week off. Fear of failure has always been a major roadblock for me, and this book helped me get ideas out of my head and onto paper. The Artist’s Way is a workbook, designed to be completed over the course of 12 weeks (or as I’ve said, a chapter a week, not necessarily 12 weeks in a row). Each chapter dares you to see yourself as an artist, and challenges you to be creative in new ways. It is a powerful process and it changed the way I think about myself and about creativity. You’ll pick up several tools for your artistic toolbox along the way.
I read this book at least every other year, but often once a year. Randy Pausch was raised by the Baby Boomer generation and he gleaned all of the good parts of his upbringing, tough love and the courage to follow your dreams, and packs a punch with this inspirational lecture on how to live your life, treat other humans, and achieve your dreams. The background of the book is what made this book famous: Randy wrote and gave a version of this lecture at Carnegie-Mellon as his literal last lecture before he died of cancer. I fell in love with this book when I graduated from college, but it became a lifelong staple for me when I became a parent. My husband isn’t a big reader, so I’ve shown him the lecture on YouTube but there really isn’t a substitute for the extra goodies you get out of the book.
Twyla Tharp is living the performance artist dream, and this book is the promise of that premise. If as a child you imagined yourself running from rehearsal space to rehearsal space, this book is for you. Twyla Tharp has had an incredible career, and her book teaches us the importance of balancing the pragmatic with the artistic. I’m a lifelong procrastinating, night owl, creative type, and “The Creative Habit” taught me to infuse my process with the habit and structure so I can actually meet deadlines. As Picasso said, “Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.”
My goodness. First of all, who doesn’t love Shonda Rhimes? She’s one of the most powerful names in television, currently and over the last 15+ years. (side note: holy crap, Grey’s Anatomy has been on forever). I always love reading about how people balance, or attempt to balance, their personal lives with their careers, and Shonda Rhimes delivers. This is an honest look at how she handles being a woman, a producer, a writer, a mom, and all of the other hats she wears. As the title implies, this book is about Ms. Rhimes challenging herself to say “yes” more. If you’re a person who already says “yes” to everything and you might be working on saying “no” more, this might not be the book for you (although she does have a chapter about saying no). But really, this is probably the book I recommend the most, after…
Seriously. I know, I know. I’ve already recommended this book. Welcome to the club of people I talk to regularly who are also tired of hearing about it. If you haven’t already, seriously check it out. I read Like Brothers after I made a “ten year plan” that was very drawn out and impractical. A lot of the things I wanted to do depended on someone else. While “get cast an ensemble tv show” is great for manifesting, it’s not actionable. Like Brothers is kind of a no-excuses method for making your art. Also, maybe I didn’t mention this before, but I cried reading the book. It’s partially a memoir, about the sweet relationship between these two brothers, and it made me see my own relationships differently. A book that teaches you how to jumpstart your creative journey, and also doles out real, useful relationship advice? Why isn’t everyone reading this book?!
My Thrift Books Rant
I would be remiss to write a book post and not mention Thrift Books. I am a big time library-patron but for children’s books and books that I re-read often, I like to shop at Thrift Books, a huge online thrift store for books, DVDs, and games. These books are available for less than $10, some of them are less than $5. When you spend a certain amount of money, you earn points and can cash in for free books. It’s nothing out of reach, either. I’ve earned three free books since December. Now, do I spend too much money on books? I mean maybe. But still. Here’s the breakdown of their rewards programs:
Tell me in the comments what book revs your creative engine!
Aw, the film industry. On the rollercoaster of filmmaking emotions, it’s not uncommon to feel some degree of guilt. In those moments where everything seems to be falling apart, thoughts of “why am I even doing this?” might creep in. Especially if you’re making a film about… I don’t know, goofball idiots hosting a couple’s retreat and not making a film about, say, refugees or some other noble story. Regardless of the validity of making films purely for entertainment (in the words of Harris Whittles, “sometimes motherf*ckers just wanna laugh”), there are ways you can do some good with your film before it’s even edited.
Shop Local
During the pandemic, Amazon make bank and small businesses were hurt. Whether you strike a deal with a restaurant for discounted food in exchange for advertising, or pledge to get pizza from the local pizzeria instead of a chain, you have to feed your cast and crew. Some local companies might be interested in donating to your film outright if you feature their logo somewhere in the film.
You also have to dress your cast and your set. Depending on your budget, you might be going with “the actors will wear whatever they already own” which is totally fair. But if you have a little spending money for set dressing and wardrobe, stretch your buck and spread the love by shopping at a locally owned thrift store, or even Facebook marketplace.
Support other artists
Your film will need music. Is there a local musician who can score the film? What about your poster? If you don’t have a family member offering to do it for free, see if you can shell out some cash to hire a local graphic designer.
Offer Community Classes
I love this idea from Tom Miller. If you have a more relaxed schedule, or if most of the team is local (my cast was from all over, and my crew was as well. My DP and I returned to our hometown, but we no longer live there. The day after wrapping, I drove the 22 hours back to Texas with my husband and toddler), you might think about offering a filmmaking workshop at a community center or with a local children’s arts program.
Wait. You’re saying these are the best books for actors? Where is Uta Hagen? Where is a Right to Speak? Do you know anything?! I know, I know. Your formal training probably created a solid bookshelf of manuals on voice, speech, emotional prep and the like. The 5 books I’m recommending are for after you’ve worked on your instrument. You know how to prepare for an audition. You’ve been pounding the pavement and you’re at the point of wondering… how many more dollar slices of pizza can I eat before I just move back to the midwest? (P.s. this is a hypothetical conundrum. There is no limit to the pizza, ever.) OR maybe you’re in a situation like I am. I can’t go on several auditions at Ripley Grier a day because I no longer live in New York, and not because I was moving back to the midwest but because my husband is a stupid pilot for the stupid Air Force (that’s for another post). You might not live on a coast, so you need to be strategic about moving your career forward until you can live on a coast.
That’s where these books come in. Besides proving that if an actress is on a Michael Schur show, I will read her book, these books gave me huge bursts of inspiration, and the confidence to carve my own path.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and other concerns) by Mindy Kaling
Listen. My love for Mindy Kaling knows no bounds. I have cried reading interviews with her, I fought with my sister’s ex-boyfriend to defend Mindy’s brilliance, and I re-read this book the way people read the Bible. I always get something new out of it. She is funny, she is smart, she is beautiful. And she is a go-getter. This book inspired me to write my play, Scribble Itch, and I’ve been writing parts for myself ever since.
The Actor’s Life: A Survival Guide by Jenna Fischer
Out of all of the books on this list, this is the only one that’s really explicitly written as a how-to. When I finally read it two years ago, I kicked myself for not reading it when it first came out, a month before I graduated an acting conservatory. She is clear and concise. There are plenty of anecdotes and inspiring moments to make you teary, but it truly is a practical guide to making a career as an actor.
Yes Please by Amy Poehler
Aw, Amy. A national treasure. Yes Please hits home the importance of finding your community. This can be a very isolating business, but theater and film are both collaborative art forms. As a creative, I have a tendency to want to work alone (a combination of stubbornness and countless group projects in middle school that ended with me saying “Forget it, I’ll just do it myself”, pretending it was by choice after the rest of the group slacked off). I can be precious about my ideas, and ownership. This book helped me fall in love with finding like-minded people and collaborating.
My Squirrel Days by Ellie Kemper
Full disclosure: a friend of mine recently told me she couldn’t finish this book. Out of all the actors on this list, Ellie’s story seems the most fairytale-ish. She went to Princeton to play lacrosse, interned for a late night show, her parents paid for her improv classes, etc. She’s pretty open about her privilege and fortune. While Ellie did get lucky in a lot of ways, she didn’t coast. I like an actor who makes their own opportunities. She was on an improv team, got involved in College Humor, and wrote multiple one-woman shows. Not to mention, Kimmy Schmidt is one of my favorite shows, and I think this book is funny.
Like Brothers by Mark and Jay Duplass
I have bought this book no less than 12 times. Every time I get a new copy, I end up giving it to someone, urging them to read it as absolutely soon as possible. If Mindy Kaling gave me the confidence to write my own parts, Mark and Jay Duplass inspired me to just make the whole damn thing. The Duplass brothers are filmmakers, actors, writers, and directors. They are also incredibly normal, nice guys. This book toggles between memoir about brotherhood and story about their filmmaking journey. I quote this book constantly, and while my husband hasn’t read it, he could probably quote it to, because every time I re-read it, I say, “hey. Listen to this-” and I read him several pages as he’s trying to cook dinner. Their advice is extremely practical. When I filmed my feature last November, I bought copies for the producers, the creative team, and several members of the cast.
I would be remiss to write a book post and not mention Thrift Books. I am a big time library-patron but for children’s books and books that I re-read often, I like to shop at Thrift Books, a huge online thrift store for books, DVDs, and games. These books are available for less than $10, some of them are less than $5. When you spend a certain amount of money, you earn points and can cash in for free books. It’s nothing out of reach, either. I’ve earned three free books since December. Now, do I spend too much money on books? I mean maybe. But still. Here’s the breakdown of their rewards programs:
Do you have any favorite books that inspired you as an actor? Drop a comment!
